1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize