I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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