Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
