well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
