Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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