I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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