Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
