i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
