i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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