I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm really busy with my period
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