Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
