when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
