so explain again why im purple
no
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
