I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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