I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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