so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
