Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
