i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
