i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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