he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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