32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
