Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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