Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
