Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
