Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
