Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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