I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Randomize
