some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My vagina is officially offended.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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