i would punch a child for taco bell
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
