did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He passed out mid-signature
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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