So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
