Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
