I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
