I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
