it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
