so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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