It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
