WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
