his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
