me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
