belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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