I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
How's work?
Spinning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
