whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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