All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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