All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
