guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
