I look better un-naked...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
