your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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