alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
