you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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